Some dreams just aren’t meant to come true.
Spurring her horse faster, Elyriel did her best not to look back toward the keep as it disappeared into the distance. She just leaned close to the mare’s neck and held on tightly as the horse flew down the east road, her heart aching and tears stinging her eyes.
Back at the keep, Sir Kelfen stood with her pack in his hands – her soldier’s cloak, the prize from her first quest, and a letter to the king inside. Walking away from her imminent knighthood was the hardest decision she had ever made, but even as she watched the ashes of that dream drift away, she knew it had to be done. Winterfell stood on the brink of war with the Covenant – and she would not and could not take any part in it. The kingdom and its former squire were of different minds now, and her future had to be found elsewhere.
But even as she stumbled wearily into the inn on the outskirts of Vesper, her entire being ached with the loss and shame. She’d had to choose, but in doing so, she had cast away any shred of honor she may have had left. She was nothing now. Not a squire, not a friend… nothing but an oath-breaker and betrayer. Collapsing onto the bed in a tiny room near the back of the inn, she sobbed once as the pain and self-loathing overcame her. She wouldn’t compromise her beliefs – war with the Covenant was not justified – but clinging to those beliefs had cost her dearly. All her old life was gone. Gone with the thoughtlessness that had cost her Daca’s trust and the hastily scrawled words on a page that desperately tried to explain her actions to her former king. Closing her eyes tightly, she lay in the dark, unable to sleep, and railed at herself for not being able to find an alternative. She had failed in every way, and with everything that was important to her. Clutched in the grip of despair, it wasn’t until the very late hours before dawn that unconsciousness finally found her.
*************
How long could someone just wander aimlessly? Nearly two months after leaving Winterfell, Elyriel had to ask herself that question. In all that time, she had rarely left Vesper for long, and those few trips were mainly to Minoc as she hired on with caravans travelling between the cities. Life as a guard was hardly exciting, but the pay kept her fed, and she had endless hours to simply think.
On each journey, she poured over her life. Her failings haunted her, but she forced herself to rethink everything – every decision, every word, every action. She had lost her honor and likely was a wanted person in Winterfell, but life had to go on. All the events of the last year had shaken her to the core. So much hatred and violence from people she once looked to as bastions of the Virtues she held so dear. And the entire Covenant an unknown now that she had broken Daca’s trust with her own careless words. Who could she trust anymore? And who would trust her, vile deserter and “vampire-lover” that she was?
Her heart heavy, she continued to live an isolated existence. The other adventurers and sell-swords who hired on regularly soon learned to leave the quiet warrior-lass alone. A few, seeing a young woman traveling on her own, made the mistake of making advances on her. Some were polite and sincere… others less so. But after one less-polite man was sent to the healers, his jaw shattered and his sword arm broken twice, they all kept a respectful distance. Word spread quickly that the girl knew how to use that mace on her belt – and the war axe strapped to her pack even better.
Lost in self-contemplation, Elly didn’t even notice another month slip by. But gradually, she was drawn out of her melancholy by rumors of troubles in the north. Listening to the merchants and other guards, her ears pricked up at the mention of drow and vampires in Yew. Curiosity overcame her desire to be alone, and she began to ask questions. The gossipers were more than happy to share the tales they had gathered. But their stories were never the same twice, and most completely contradicted the others. Frowning in thought, Elly lay in her bedroll at night and tried to sort the truth from the obvious fantasies. A serious dispute was going on – and people she cared about were involved. Perhaps it was time to find out just what was happening in the greater world.
When the caravan rolled into Vesper safely, Elly made her way to the bank. Finding a quiet corner, she dug through her strongbox until she found it – a map of northern Britannia. She slowly traced the road from Vesper to Yew. No, she thought frowning. Not that way. She had no desire to visit Winterfell yet. Her finger followed the road toward Britain, pausing between the two cities.
A longing stirred in her heart. She hadn’t seen him in so long…. But would he want to see her at all? Biting her lip, Elly tucked the map into her pack. Even if he didn’t, she had to try. If she was going to leave Vesper to find out what was happening in Yew, she would have to face some of the things she had fled from – and Daca was one of them.
*************
He wasn’t home. Sighing, Elly thanked the guards at the door of the tower. They had informed her flatly that the Master wasn’t available, so she pulled herself into her saddle again. The damp air made her hair cling to her face uncomfortably as she turned the mare and continued the ride west. She’d had to try. And perhaps she could still find him. She was going to Yew after all….
The rest of the ride was uneventful but disturbing. Outside Britain, travelers greeted her with wary courtesy, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. As she pressed closer to Yew, however, she became more alarmed. Travelers were very cautious now, most meeting her with a suspicious glare rather than a greeting. Frowning a little, she double-checked the straps on her armor before spurring her mare down the last road toward the abbey.
Chaos was waiting for her. A huge crowd milled over the abbey yard. She could see the green cloaks of the rangers mixed with the purple of soldiers she didn’t recognize. And scattered liberally in between were people in all manner of dress and armor. And everywhere she looked, people were bristling with weaponry. The crowd buzzed with conversations, so she slipped from her horse and looped the reins over a nearby tree. Keeping her hands clearly visible but near her own weapons, she quietly approached the gathering. She ignored the questioning and hostile stares as the warriors and mages tried to identify her. Slipping around the edge of the crowd toward the winery, she searched for any familiar faces.
A trio of people sat on horseback near a single tree between the abbey and winery. When she caught sight of them, she stopped dead and stared. She knew two of them. Sitting tall in their saddles, arrayed in solid platemail and weapons placed within easy reach, Wraith and Sterling were surveying the crowd and speaking quietly.
Shame held her in place. Sterling would know that she had broken her oath to the King – and Wraith had very likely heard as well. Would either of them deign to speak to her? Glancing around the crowd, she caught sight of two other familiar people. Myca and Katelynn Vodyanoy were just past the two warriors, surrounded by a cautious knot of onlookers. Elly considered her options. Either pair could doubtlessly tell her what all the commotion was about – but a second glance and she realized she didn’t have the courage to approach Myca. Not yet, even with Kate there.
Drawing herself up, she stepped closer to the mounted soldiers. To her relief, Xavier and the other mounted soldier had their attentions caught on something across the yard, and they carefully spurred their horses off into the crowd. Wraith then noticed her approach. His brows lifted with surprise, but a welcoming smile lit his face. Elly was surprised too – the smile was clearly reflected in his eyes as well. Self-consciously straightening the plain tunic she wore over her armor, she moved closer.
“Elyriel?” His voice came pleasantly. “Fortunes gift! Ye’re a warm sight in this forsaken city.”
She smiled faintly, the weight of her shame quickly smothering the thought that it was good to see him again. “Hail, John, ” she answered quietly. “You’re a long way from Trinsic.”
He chuckled. “Aye, aye.…” His hand stroked his horse’s neck. “Ye’re a long way from home yourself.” His dark blue gaze captured hers. “Duskwalker said ye’d left Winterfell.”
Elly flinched under that gaze. “Aye… a few months ago.” She shrugged a little – please don’t let him press the issue! Keeping her expression carefully controlled, she admitted, “I’ve been in Vesper since.”
He nodded some, his eyes releasing her as they flickered with understanding. She relaxed just a little in relief. He wouldn’t push her on it. “Heavens, it is good to see ye,” he said after a moment, warmth still coloring his tone. “How are ye?”
She managed a smile. “I am… getting by.” His lips twitched with humor as he recognized his own words. She tilted her head and nodded toward the badge on his shoulder. “I hear you’re mayor in Trinsic now.”
“Aye, the rumors are true,” he replied with a wry grin. “They may debate the wisdom of the choice, but I do my best by them.”
A small chuckle found life at the back of her throat. “Trinsic did well then.” Very well, she thought. The idea of the city of Honor having his guidance brought a genuine smile to her lips. “And how have you been?”
His grin faded some. “Well – save for the aggression my station seems to warrant.” A worried frown replaced Elly’s smile. “I took a few arrows some weeks ago.” He frowned slightly. “Caught me off-guard. It was almost the end of me.”
Elly studied him quickly as a chill went down her spine. Wraith dead? She promptly dismissed the disturbing thought. He seemed well enough now – a comfort, she admitted to herself. “You are well now, aye?” she let her concern show. She needed to know he really was alright.
He nodded and mustered another smile. “A long recovery, but aye, I’m well.”
She permitted herself a faint smile in return. I suppose ‘tis enough pleasantries, she decided. Time to ask what I came for. “And what brings you so far north?” A good enough place to start. “I’ve been hearing rumors of trouble even in Vesper.”
His gaze drifted out over the crowd. “Ye would ask me to try to explaining all this….” A sardonic grin. Leaning down in his saddle to keep his voice low, he began to tell her all that he knew of events, including Trinsic’s arrival in the town and their purpose. Even as they spoke, a skirmish seemed to break out, and the two watched as a knot of fighting broke off toward the town proper.
Wraith shook his head. “There is so much activity about… and it seems to be getting worse.” He sighed, putting a hand to his horse’s neck to steady it. “I think all it would take now is for Judas to show up. This place is ready to boil over.”
Elly nodded absently, watching the crowd. Wraith had confirmed some of the rumors she had heard, but the tale still baffled her. Another game of politics, she thought with a resigned sigh. And one in which her friends seemed to be buried deep.
A call from nearer the abbey caught her attention. Finding a smile, Elly returned Kate’s wave. Inwardly, she cringed a little. Time to face those fears, she sternly told herself. Looking up at Wraith again, she nodded toward Kate. “Would you excuse me a moment, John?”
He nodded and smiled. “I’ll be near the abbey doors. If ye care to talk more, please come find me?” His eyes glittered brightly at her. Tilting her head and watching him briefly, she wondered why the offer sounded so good. But then she made her way over to Katelynn, and her mind turned to other problems.
After a quick conversation, Elly hugged Kate, and they went their separate ways. Wraith was near the abbey walls with a small complement of Trinsic soldiers. Elly made her way over quietly and spent almost half an hour just listening to their talk and the other conversations all around her. So much news and gossip floating about…. Finally, Wraith noticed her and slipped out of his saddle to approach.
Starting, Elly blushed a little as he smiled at her. “Sorry…” she stammered. “Just trying to decipher all of this.” She glanced up, gauging the sun. “Though I ought to be going home soon. Tis getting late.”
“To Vesper?” She nodded in reply to his query. He paused a moment. “Well, do be safe.”
She smiled faintly. “I will.”
His eyes met hers. “Will ye do me a favor, Elyriel?” His voice was very soft and … hopeful?
She blinked in surprise but nodded. “Of course.”
The answering smile was reflected in his eyes again. “Come to Trinsic sometime to see me, please?” He kept his voice low. “I would like to spend some time with ye… in a less…” he sought the words, “volatile atmosphere.”
Elly studied him closely, startled and confused by the gentle request. He knew what she had done… and whom she had been with. Why was he asking her this? Those blue eyes held hers, waiting for an answer. A sudden thought broke through her uncertainty – you would enjoy a quiet evening. With a shy smile, she nodded. No reason to isolate herself anymore – not if he was offering her a chance at friendship again. The gods knew her chances with other old friends were not good. “Twould be… nice, John. I’ll look for you the next time I’m there.”
Bidding him a quick farewell, she slipped back through the crowd and found her horse. She didn’t look back as she spurred the mare into the forest. Gods… she silently swore. So much to think about.